I was on the phone with one of my sister’s last night and I told them I was just existing in the world. But I want to do more than just exist. My thirst for knowledge is never and will never be quenched. It’s amazing how you can find out things about yourself randomly. Like for the longest time I knew what I wanted to do but I just never know how to go about doing it or if I would be good at it. Then I started to receive confirmation. Yes I can do it. I think the biggest confirmation for me came with the biggest disappointments. But now I don’t even see them as disappointments anymore. I see them as blessings.
I knew there was a chance that I wasn’t going to come out of school with a bomb job making millions ( but one can always dream and that dream isn’t totally dead). It took me 7 months to find a job that I wasn’t even completely happy with and it was taking a toll on my body (yeah I had to quit or I would’ve ended up using a walker before my time). Everyday I would go into work miserable. Then one day it clicked randomly. I came back across “The Secret”. I watched the dvd and read the book, I even took notes. I had to change my thought process. How can I be positive for other people but be a Negative Nancy about things when it came to myself? I had to change that.
So the first thing that I did was stop complaining. After I stopped complaining my job got a tad bit better. The second thing I did was hold positive thoughts in my head. Anytime something would annoy me or make me upset I would think about my celebrity crush or driving a car. Anything that made me happy. The third thing that I started doing more of is daydreaming. Daydreaming keeps me going honestly. I could be anywhere with anyone at anytime. Even though I don’t go out as much I don’t feel even feel lonely. I don’t keep my phone constantly glued to me and I don’t text people like a maniac just to get a response…. Anymore. At one point in time I even deleted social media apps off of my phone.
Then the light bulb when off, what’s the point in slaving yourself to make someone else rich especially if you’re the one that’s unhappy? I don’t mind retail and I don’t knock it but it’s not something that I want to do for the rest of my life. So I made the decision to leave. What I wanted to do was right in front of me all along I just couldn’t see it. And when people would say you have your degree and you are great at what you do, you should just go into business for yourself. But I’m sitting here like what is this great thing that I do that you speak of? Lol. Then it hit me.
Every job that I applied to I would either be over qualified or under qualified. “I know I don’t suck that bad. I have my degree so I can’t be that bad” were my constant thoughts. The universe was just trying to tell me “Hey create your own business big head”. But I never saw it. So now I’m on a journey. I do eventually want to go back to school to receive my Master’s then my PhD but it’s not my time yet. I want to just live for myself right now.
The biggest thing that I had to realize and that we all need to realize is “Stop comparing your situation to others”. I see a lot of my classmates with their Master’s already or they have a awesome job and I use to be like “What in the world am I doing wrong”? I slick was salty. But now it makes me even happier to see other people succeed because that’s more motivation for me and I can support them on their journey. I love watching people grow. I know my time is coming soon so until then I’m just going to enjoy the ride. And I know you’re probably like” Ok so what do you want to do sheesh”? Lol. I want to become a Life Coach. Counselor. Then later on mentor. I have a passion for people and like I said before ” Life is the best teacher”. I have been through so much that I can help other people. So why not start now? Right now I’m trying to tackle the hurdle of relocating. I know God has something for me so I’m not even going to stress it. Oh and in case you were wondering “The Secret” is about The Law of Attraction. I will get more into it as we go along. If you made it this far you are the real mvp!!!
Be Love.Be Life.BeeUnique